Newfie campers

Two Newfoundlanders went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down in their tent for the night and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Lloyd awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. "Bryce, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Bryce replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" Lloyd questioned.

Bryce pondered for a minute: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe Saturn is in Leo. Logically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow".

"Is that all?" Lloyd asked.

"Yes." Bryce replied. "Why, am I missing something?"

Lloyd was quiet for a moment, then spoke softly: "Bryce, you numbskull. Someone has stolen the bloody tent!"

You May Live in Alberta

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you may live in Alberta.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Alberta.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you may live in Alberta.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you may live in Alberta.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Alberta.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Alberta.